Rant

It's been so long since i last blogged....

So now i have been transferred back to hq, things got better? i don't think so...

Just back for a week and i fell sick, it's totally sickening. Of course i want to be back to hq but my body, my lousy weak body, can't get back to its 'previous' status, so i fell sick. And of course there are other things bothering me, so here and there give me stress and in the end i 'gave up' and fell sick.

i also don't know what i'm stressed for... i think to 'get married' is like a burden, i mean to go through all those custom thingy is really a stress to us. To plan and prepare is a stress, to gain agreement from both sides is a stress, indirectly unhappiness 'created' also brings another stress to us.

i think becoz of my wedding i become very emotionally unstable sometimes. In the first place i am already a person who 'thinks too much' , and now i'm more unstable, i even think more and more and become very sensitive. i easily cry these days, very emotional, i always feel that nobody understands me...

Wedding is already a big 'burden' and now at work i also need to face other problems, i really hate it... i'm back to the place and i felt like i need to clean up the mess other has made. It's like i have to 'take over' whatever people have left but it's not something well done that i can just take over easily, it's a mess that i have to take over. If i wasn't transferred, this kind of mess will not happen, becoz i will always control and do my best. Now who is going to clean up the mess, you think that person will do it? Why can't people just be more responsible? You made the mistake and you should correct your mistake.

That's why i said, work so hard for what, no one is going to appreciate it, so all those people are clever, they don't care, they don't work hard, i am only the stupid one...